As a therapist trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS) Informed therapy in Denver, I believe in the power of self-compassion. Many of us struggle to feel compassionate toward ourselves, but self-compassion is essential on any healing journey. In fact, it’s at the very heart of IFS therapy. When you approach your inner life with kindness, rather than judgment, you create a foundation for deeper, more lasting change. So, let’s dive into what makes IFS therapy unique and why compassion is such a core element of this approach.

If you’re in the Denver area and interested in IFS therapy, I invite you to book a consultation. Together, we’ll look at how I can support you on your path to healing.

The Importance of Self-Compassion in the Healing Journey

Many people have an “inner critic” part that’s constantly judging or doubting them, which can keep them stuck in a cycle of shame and low self-worth. Self-compassion breaks that cycle. When you can look at your struggles, experiences, or even your most painful memories with gentleness, you create a space for healing to happen.

Self-compassion doesn’t mean ignoring your faults or overlooking where you could grow. It’s more about acknowledging your challenges with empathy and understanding. This compassionate approach can be life-changing. IFS therapy helps you to actively practice self-compassion by getting to know different “parts” of yourself, learning their stories, and understanding why they’re there.

What Makes IFS Therapy Unique?

IFS therapy is a unique and empowering approach that views the mind as being made up of different “parts.” Imagine a boardroom inside you, filled with different characters, each with its own role, fears, and motivations. Some parts want to protect you from getting hurt, while others might push you toward success or urge you to avoid risks. In IFS, we call these parts “exiles,” “managers,” and “firefighters.” 

What’s powerful about IFS therapy is that it doesn’t label these inner parts as “bad” or “wrong.” Instead, it recognizes that each part of you has a purpose, even if that purpose might seem counterproductive or confusing on the surface. In my practice as an IFS Informed therapist in Denver, I see the impact of this unique approach every day—clients begin to see themselves as whole and multifaceted rather than broken or flawed.

If you’re curious to learn more about the three core parts of IFS, check out this blog post where I go into detail on each of them.

The Power of the ‘Self’ in IFS Therapy

One of the most transformative concepts in IFS therapy is the idea of the “Self.” This “Self” is your compassionate, centered, and wise core—think of it as the calm eye in the storm of emotions and inner conflicts. The Self is naturally compassionate and curious, and it’s always available to you, even if it feels distant or hard to access at times. In IFS, we see the Self as the leader or guide for all the other parts. When you operate from this centered place, it’s easier to listen to your parts without judgment and to understand them without getting overwhelmed.

How IFS Therapy Cultivates Compassion

One of the biggest gifts IFS therapy brings is a sense of compassion toward yourself and your experiences. In IFS, we take time to get to know each part personally. Here are a few ways people can cultivate compassion through this process:

1. Listening to Your Inner Critic With Compassion: Many of us have a critical inner voice that’s quick to highlight flaws or mistakes. In IFS therapy, rather than trying to silence this inner critic, we listen to it with curiosity (it might sound a bit counterintuitive, but bear with me!). You’ll tend to find this critical part has just been trying to protect you from failure or rejection. By approaching it with empathy, its intensity often softens, and you can relate to it with newfound understanding.

2. Understanding the Role of Protective Parts: Some parts work tirelessly to shield us from vulnerability or discomfort. For example, a “manager” part might keep you constantly busy to avoid facing difficult emotions. In IFS therapy, we explore why these parts feel the need to protect. We often discover that these protectors are simply trying to help, even if it’s exhausting. Recognizing their role allows clients to feel gratitude instead of frustration.

3. Embracing Exiled Parts with Love: Exiled parts often carry painful memories and emotions from the past, like shame, fear, or sadness. In IFS, we learn to approach these exiled parts with care instead of avoiding them (think of it as offering a warm hug to the parts that need it the most). By acknowledging and comforting these parts, we can begin to release long-held burdens, bringing a sense of healing and peace.

IFS therapy isn’t about “fixing” parts of yourself—it’s about building a relationship with them, so that they can trust you more to then give you space. When you can look at each part with kindness and curiosity, you’re no longer at war with yourself. 

Moving Forward with Compassionate Self-Awareness

Whether you’re new to therapy or considering trying IFS therapy in Denver, know that self-compassion isn’t a skill you have to master overnight. It’s a journey, one where you learn to greet each part of yourself with curiosity and kindness. IFS therapy offers a pathway to connect with your inner world in a gentle, supportive way, allowing you to truly understand and heal from the inside out. And in a world that often pushes us to be critical of ourselves, choosing self-compassion is a powerful and life-changing act.

If you’re curious about how IFS therapy might work for you, reach out anytime. There’s something incredible waiting when you start to explore your inner landscape with a compassionate heart—and I’d love to guide you there.